4 ways new-ish parents win by simply making it to church (Part 2)

It’s a common experience for new parents or parents of young kids to feel like their experience of God has taken a dramatic turn. (See previous post HERE)

In this post, I want to make a case for why the simple discipline of going to church will make all the difference during a time of change, exhaustion, and disorientation.

In fact, the singular practice of making it to church will yield real benefits for you and your family.

Here are 4 of them in no particular order:

1. Investment Is Being Made In Your Child’s Spiritual Journey

According to a Barna article entitled “Research Shows That Spiritual Maturity Process Should Start at a Young Age”, the data shows that spiritual beliefs are largely cemented during one's pre-teen years. In fact, a majority of Americans have made “a lasting determination about the personal significance of Christ’s death and resurrection by age 12.”

Unless a parent plans on relentlessly pouring into a child’s Biblical and spiritual formation, why wouldn’t he or she take their child to participate in a broader community of faith? Even if a parent was maniacally focused, wouldn’t he or she want the additional support of a local church?

The faith is caught as much as it is taught. That’s why placing your child in a local church environment is such a strategic decisions.

Think about additional exposure to friendships, mentors, Bible study lessons, and spiritual moments. The child will be far better resourced in a spiritual community than merely in a family.

And then there’s the add-on of muscle memory that gets built into the child who will one day become an adult and think, “We go to church because mom (or dad) always took us to church”

2. You’re Filling Up the Cup of Your Soul (So It Can Overflow)

If you had to force rank your own spiritual vibrancy versus your child’s, which one would you prioritize? You’d probably prioritize your child’s because…you’re a good parent.

Counter-intuitively, however, have you ever considered how your own spiritual vibrancy may be the best thing for your child’s spiritual journey?

Remember, most things are caught. We can take our kids to church, but they spend far more time observing and learning through the cultural norms we set forward and the quiet values they reveal.

So how do we ensure our spiritual vibrancy? At baseline, I believe someone who regularly attends a church worship service will be spiritually healthier than someone who does not.

In fact, if I had to choose between the two, I would bet on the person who doesn’t read the Bible personally (a practice not overtly Scripturally prescribed) but attends church regularly (overtly prescribed by Scripture) to be more spiritually healthy in the long run rather than the person who reads the Bible every day on their own but never attends a worship gathering.

One of the best spiritual investments we can make in our child is by caring for our own souls. Fighting to help our own souls rejoice in Jesus is to fight for our child’s spiritual health.

3. You and Your Child Receive the Tangible (and Intangible) Benefits of a Village

I’ll never forget when we had our first child and those in our church community set up a meal train for us, brought over baby clothes, and gave us hand-me-downs. We were reminded we weren’t on our own.

We realized we were part of a larger community that was willing to wrap around our family.

This may surprise you, but the more you dive into a community, the more you may discover how willing people are to give you a boost.

I’m talking practical support, such as helping hold your baby while you grab a donut. It may be offering babysitting or bringing hand-me-down clothes. You will receive the tangible support of the church.

But there may be an even great gift than practicality: Perspective. As you meet and converse with more people, you will receive the precious reminders we too often forget where we’re thick in the trenches of parenting.

A seasoned grandparent may help you to treasure the season that much more as they remind you how precious and fleeting the current moment is. Parents with teenagers may remind you you’re good in good company as they share their challenges, albeit different ones, than physical exhaustion from young kids.

4. You End Up Discipling Others (More Than You Think)

Imagine you show up to church 20 minutes late after checking in your kid. You didn’t sleep much the night before, you argued with your spouse on the way to church, and are now trying to catch your breath and orient yourself to the service.

You may think this is a picture of failure, but I would make the case that this couple makes a larger spiritual contribution to their congregation than meets the eye.

By showing up, they’re inspiring other parents of young children to continue to faithfully gather for worship. By showing up, they’re modeling a beautiful vision for singles and college students of what family life ought to look like. By showing up, they’re encouraging empty-nesters and those who are older to continue to engage the church no matter the life season.

Sure, the couple may feel like they’re drowning in the new season, but they’re also discipling, even if indirectly, if they’d stop for a moment and consider how their actions nudge and signal important values.

They’re contributing to a better culture and ethos of the church by their presence.

And isn’t it often the cause that people’s discipleship journey is a caught culture of Biblical norms and values?

Conclusion

It doesn’t have to look pretty. You can show up late.

But the goal is to make it to church and by simply making it, you win on multiple fronts.

As a pastor, I’ve marveled as I’ve watched my wife bring all four of our kids to church. As a pastor, I’m continually inspired when I see parents make their way from the parking lot with their stroller leading the way.

If you’re a parent slogging their way to make it to church every Sunday, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing. I commend you. It will pay dividends. You’re also probably one of the first one to know the benefits of a spiritual community.

If you’re a parent who is calculating the logistical inconveniences of coming to church, I want to ask you to consider the more important alternatives. Consider the great gains you and your child loses. Consider the potential loss of spiritual impact for generations to come. Consider the eternal ramifications.

If you’re a church leader, I want to ask that you celebrate the heck out of parents at your church. Give them a high-five. Champion them publicly. Know that their journey to your church that morning wasn’t easy, but they’re trying to live out the invitation you’ve been extending to them. Honor and cherish them.

Parents, make it to church because your church will make you and your child.